Is it over yet?

I see you guys on the Twitter. Your kids are home for the summer now and it sucks. Your kids want to eat every 5 minutes, they’re bored, and you have to take them to the pool. The pool! I am really enjoying it because it’s hilarious, but also, I’m crying inside because I homeschool.

I homeschool, and in our area school goes until the end of June, so not only is my kid already home but I still have to try to pretend I know how to teach him stuff. Do you know how nice it is outside? It’s not exactly pool weather, that’s true, but it definitely ain’t math weather either.

I know, I shouldn’t even complain because it was only like two weeks ago that I was gallivanting around Europe.

I know that. But I clearly have a problem.

It started with the jet lag. Not only the jet lag but the fact that my cat took up meowing all night long when we were gone and it took a good week for him to stop howling.

Then there’s the fact that yes, we got a lovely vacation, but that vacation means my husband hasn’t been home in two months. I know, he should be the one complaining about this but he isn’t the one with a blog now is he? Which means that I get to complain about having to hold down the fort solo.

Then there was the fact that when we got back, neither my kid nor I really wanted to do any work. With summer so close, how can you really get back on schedule, especially when you were still playing around with the schedule to know what the best schedule really was?

But still, we are taking the summer off of all scheduled activities, so we should at least try to do something until the end of the month. If only so that we don’t end up starting school early when there is still summer to enjoy.

This is all partially my fault. I picked our math curriculum because it looked so fun and it’s for kids who need a good challenge in math (like, hello, my kid) and it was going amazingly until it got a bit more difficult and I remembered how much I suck at, and despise, math.

Do you know how frustrating it is to try to teach a kid math when you know your kid knows the answer but they are telling you it’s too hard meanwhile they are doing things that are four times harder? So then you are trying and trying to figure it out for yourself and almost in tears trying to think of how to explain it and then they’re just like “Oh yeah, it’s like this.” And then they do an equation that you need to do in four steps in four seconds in their head.

Is it inappropriate to flip off your own child?

Of course I would never do that! I love my kid. I love him dearly. I understand sometimes people get overwhelmed and need a few moments to work things out. But gosh darn it if it isn’t frustrating as heck. Why does “it’s too hard” need to be his go to when it clearly is not too hard?

( That’s rhetorical. I know, I know this is his way of taking a pause. I really do understand it. But I’m freaking human okay?)

Or take today for instance. I thought we would move homeschool outside. We could sit under our maple tree, snack on home-made sugar-free hand pies, and bash out some school work. Sounds freaking idyllic AF right?

It took an hour to get through one page of math. One hour of “it’s too hard” (see above). One hour of me going, “Okay, yes I understand you know how to do 64×66, but they want you to do a short cut using 65²-1. It’s faster. Yes it is. Yes, it is. Try 64×66. Now do it their way. See, it’s faster. Because the book wants you to do it that way. I don’t know, because they do! Because you don’t want to spend all day doing math equations and this is faster. Okay maybe you do but maybe you want to do it quicker so you can do more. IT’S NOT HARD. It’s not hard. You’re killing me. Stop saying it’s hard. No, 7,999×8,001 isn’t any more difficult it just looks more difficult because there are more zeros. It’s not harder. You can do it. Yes you can! Yes, you can. YES YOU CAN.”

The great thing about homeschooling outdoors is that all of your neighbours get to hear the soundtrack of your breakdown.

We finally finished the questions by way of pretending we were Disney Imagineers figuring out equations for our newest rides. I say, “Yay! Go play!”

He walks over to the swings, then turns back and says, “No, I want to do more math.”

If I had a desk to plunk my head on, I would have.

I am done, over it. But what am I done and over? Do I seriously think that we are going to go two months without him coming to me with math equations that I can’t answer? Do I think we are going to be periodic table free? Do I think he’s going to put a stopper on asking questions about why certain politicians aren’t in jail or if our neighbour is wasting water and going to cause a drought? It takes a lot of freaking mental capacity to deal with all of that. Plus you know, the whole keeping them alive side of things like snacks every 5 minutes!

Maybe we are better off arguing about the math.


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